I have been exhausted of late. Those who know me well will tell you that that's a dangerous state for me (and everyone else). But all the same, through exercises of body, heart and mind, I've come to see life in ways to which I'd not previously been privy. I'd never felt and seen so much of the hurt, the pain, the sin that exists. It's made my heart feel heavy.
I am a happy, healthy twenty-something with lots of friends, a wonderful boyfriend and an awesome God. You'd think that I had it all, but I want more. I want to take on the world. I want everyone to know that they are special and wonderful and loved. I want to be there for them all, but I can't. I've been asking for more and this is what has manifested itself-this desire to love, to love more than I possibly can. I have no clue how this is going to happen, but I do know the God through whom all things are possible. Guess that's a good place to start.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Inaugural Blog
So, does posting on the official "Blog.com" website mean that I'm now Blogging for the first time? I have a Xanga site, and you should visit it (http://www.xanga.com/jenjibre), but is that really and truly "blogging"? Today I was eating those little Dove Promise things and on my tinfoil wrapper was written "Remember your first everything." I remember a lot of first things that are important to me. Things like my first solo I ever and the first time I failed a test and the first time I beat my sister at Monopoly.
But I was wondering if I should remember this. I suppose that I could remember it just for the sake of remembering it even if it is not a first. But that, in my mind, begs the question: "Are first things the only things worth remembering?" But then you have to define "first". Everything that you do could be said to be the first. As creatures who necessarily live in time, every day, every hour, every second is new. So anything done before can never be done the same way again because the linear quality of our existence.
Oh, you have caught me in the act of, as my boyfriend puts it, chasing my tail. I promise that it's not something that I do often, so don't be scared off. I look forward to you returning! Until my first second posting, I bid you adieu!
But I was wondering if I should remember this. I suppose that I could remember it just for the sake of remembering it even if it is not a first. But that, in my mind, begs the question: "Are first things the only things worth remembering?" But then you have to define "first". Everything that you do could be said to be the first. As creatures who necessarily live in time, every day, every hour, every second is new. So anything done before can never be done the same way again because the linear quality of our existence.
Oh, you have caught me in the act of, as my boyfriend puts it, chasing my tail. I promise that it's not something that I do often, so don't be scared off. I look forward to you returning! Until my first second posting, I bid you adieu!
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